True Party Animals

Lovers!

I am a mysterious woman. Most people, even the closest to me, know little of how I think. But there is one fact that they will know; and now, dear followers, I will tell you as well. I do not like animals. Not one little bit. I think they are rude and dirty.

Yes, I know what you are thinking my pretties: This Zora, she is not normal! Well dear, of course I'm not, I am an all-seeing alcoholic, clearly I am far from normal. But before you write this gypsy off, I will say that there are a few animals which I quite enjoy. Among them is elephants.

Elephants have been revered in many religions, and this gypsy also acknowledges their mystic power. While learning sacred arts in the Far East, I had the opportunity to interact with these blessed beasts. I feel a connection to them that I do not even feel with some humans! And clearly, we can all relate to a beast far more easily than with a - what are they called - guido, anyhow.

I have recently gained a deeper level of understanding of perhaps why I connect so. I was informed that elephants like to get drunk. There has been research conducted on their behavior and they will eat mushrooms and fermented berries in order to get intoxicated. Partying Pachyderms!!! Crunking out with their trunks out! Yes! Elephants like to party!

Aside from the spiritual connection that I felt, I was also being united with a fellow alcoholic! And to think, these animals are poached! They are abused and left for dead! And for what? Wanting to party? Fuck taking a stand against animal cruelty, let's embrace an animals right to party!